Thursday, November 17, 2005

It happens

You know what would suck? Being the least retarted kid in the retarted class. Outside of the fact that you were the only one who wasn't required by law to wear a helmet, there's nothing good about it. You would look around and, even compared to you, every kid would be retarted. "Ms. Proskey, why is Jerry rocking back and forth?" "Why doesn't Brian ever stop humming?"

You'd be skewed for life. Imagine the day you found out paper wasn't round...

Or when you go home, mom asks "Hey honey, how was school today?"
"We had an assessment"
"Was it hard?"
"Hard to stay inside the lines?"

It would be an utter catastrophe. When you saw the other kids--in recess per say--you would always be last to be picked for the kickball team. Being atop your retarted class doesn't bump you up in social status, or kickball ability, for that matter.

Ok, so there is ONE positive aspect. Applying to colleges would be glorious. You could be the only WASP to benefit from affirmative action, from your dissability. But when it all came down to it, you excelled in your classes. Bet your glad you colored inside the lines now! But still, how fun would it be to have retarted friends your whole life?

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