Thursday, November 10, 2005

Here's to Our Leaders

Nothing like stand up comedy. Anyone who as gone to a stand up show, professional or ameture, can relate. Even watching a tape or listening to the mp3--you go in expecting 75% of what they say to be funny, and laughing at anything is completely acceptable. If he's talking about his dead mother, or his time in the hospital recovering, it's ok to laugh. Well anyway. one of the classics in stand up comedy is none other than the illustrious Mitch Hedberg (RIP). Some of my favorites:

"I was in a casino, minding my own business. This guy came up and said "you're gonna have to move, you're blocking the fire exit. As though if there was a fire, I wasn't going to run. If you are flammable and have legs, you're never blocking a fire exit. You can write that down and put a dash in front of it, and put my name at the bottom."

"My fake plant died because I didn't pretend to water it."

"I didn't go to college but if I did I would take all my tests in a resaurant, because the customer is always right."

"I'm gonna open a chain of chair lunch dinner's, put them right across the street from the bed and breakfasts."

"I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask then where they're going and hook up with the later."

Buy his CD's, the delivery is priceless. His death still weighs heavily on the hearts of comedy fans nationwide.

Listen to Mitch Hedberg,
The Master Procrasturbator


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